Sixth graders like it

In an attempt to post more I am using a strategy used by writers the world over. I am recycling crap that I already wrote for other reasons and putting it up as new work. This makes perfect sense because I could have gotten away with just posting the scene and not commenting on it and nobody would be the wiser. Alas, my capacity for self destruction demands I don't have a fuzzy relationship with the truth no matter how sad it may make my efforts seem.
This is not my favorite scene I have ever written...actually its not in the top ten. What it is is the first scene I ever wrote for students...or...anyone for that matter, so, I thought it warranted at least an historical spot on the blog. The scene does have one thing going for it. Sixth graders like it.
That sentence is rarely uttered. Sixth graders don't like many things if they are the idea of an authority figure. However, I have managed to stumble upon something that some girls in my class enjoy. It is a scene I wrote three years ago to get three girls to stop whining because every scene I gave them 'sucked'. So, The Glass Menagerie or Comedy of Errors it is not but for whatever reason 11 year old girls like this scene.

(2 students quietly working in their room, M (the loud one) enters…loudly)
M: Guess what, you are never going to believe this!
H+S: Mmmm?
M: I've found him.
(H and S continue working)
M: I've found him.
H: Found who?
M: Him!
S: Him, who?
M: You'll never believe it.
H: not at this rate.
M: I've found him.
S: again?
M: what?
H: (to S)now its what and who.
S: (laughs)
M: Don't you guys want to know who?
H: I was kind of interested in what.
M: What?
S: yeah, what?
M: I hate you, since you obviously don’t care I am leaving. Good bye.
(M leaves, comes back seconds later)
M: Guess what, you are never going to believe this!
(H+S look at each other and back at M)
H+S: (mock excitement) What?!
M: I've found him.
H: I'm going to kill you.
S: --Who?!
M: Brad,the man I am going to marry.
S: Oh Mollie.
H: Another imaginary boy?
M: No! This is him!
S: Him who?
H: (to S) don't you start.
S: Where did you meet him?
M: On the internet
S: What?
M (louder): ON THE INTERNET
H: OK, when did you first meet him in person?
M: Next Tuesday
S: Ok, and what did he look like?
H: Wait, next Tuesday?
S: NEXT Tuesday?
M: you guys going to break into song?
H: You haven't met him yet?
M: Yes online. He's very sweet, he sent me this ring (displays hideous ring)
(uncomfortable pause)
S: (to H) my turn?
H: yes.
S: Ok, Mollie honey. You know I love you.
M: Oh, I love you too.
S: Shut up. Here's the thing. This is crazy. This is running barefoot on broken glass crazy. This is eating fire crazy. Let me put it this way. If I bought a whole truckload of crazy and only this showed up. I'd be a satisfied customer. It's that kind of crazy.
M: We do crazy things for love.
isn't Mollie, this isn't love. This probably isn't even Brad. What's more likely is that this is some sixty year old, six hundred pound shut in named Reginald wearing a cub scout uniform who speaks fluent elvish. He sent you his dead grandmother's engagement ring so that you would spend the rest of your life filing corns off his feet and opening sardine cans. This person is not your true love.
M He's got friends who say they're interested in you guys.
S: really?
H: Shannon! No. This is not happening (blocking the door). You are not going to meet him. None of us are getting married until we all decide we're ready.
M: You're not the boss of me!
H: ooh, ouch (tdidn'tannon) at least she didn't call me liar, liar pants on fire.
S (on computer)
M: Listen you... shrew; (growing calm) you two are without question my best friends. (Totally seriously) My life is not going to be easy in the next few years. Think about it. My parents aren't going to be thrilled about my impending marriage. And can you imagine what its going to be like being the only married girl on the cheer team? I am going to lose friends, the love of my family, respect of my teachers and quite possibly the only chance I’ve ever had at having a normal life because I am sure, I am positive that I am in love. Love knows no age and has no wisdom of its own. But I've found it, and all I ask from the entire world is that you help me through it. If you can help me, I know my life will still be a good one.
H: (feigning sympathy) Molie, (truly harsh) that is the single stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life, if you do this.
S: ...guys
H: ...you will not only be the dumbest...
S: ...guys...
H: ...but, quite possibly the deadest...
S: guys! (they look at S) Mollie, come here (they both do) Is this Brad?
M: yes, why is he emailing you?
S: He just proposed to me.
M: You Tramp!
S: Stop. Listen. Brad is not a person. He's a reality T.V. show. He proposes to a group of young women online and whomever responds gets a ring. On the inside of the ring is a phone number, you cal that and you get an audition time. If you get cast, you will appear on the show every week and have to complete stupid tasks to finally earn "Brad's" love. Then, if you do, you're married on T.V.
H: (truly sympathetic) Oh Mollie, I'm so Sorry.
M: (nearly dumbstruck) How did you find this out?
S: (sorry) It's all on this web page
M: Is Brad real?
S: Sort of he's part of the show.
M: So this ring?
S: Just a marketing gimmick.
M: (soberly takes off the ring) Here's the number.
H: Mollie, I am sorry if I was harsh.
S: Yeah, I wish, I , uh.
M: I just can't believe it.
H+S: I know.
M: (joyfully) I'm going to be on T.V.!

So there it is. It doesn't hold pride of place for me or anything (especially since I so obviously cribbed other plays and movies) but it represents from where I come. I probably write 3-5 scenes a month for students and one out of ten is usually not crotch twingingly bad. So take it for what it is and let that little eleven year old girl in your soul giggle...just don't let your teacher catch you enjoying it.