The gnashing of teeth, the rending of garments

You remember it.
That thing when you were 14 from which you were positive you would never recover. You remember it don't you? It was in March of your eighth grade year.
You see Billy, who you have been dating for, well, almost three weeks, didn't call you for two days.
sure he had two broken arms and tonsillitis but, hell, he didn't call. This is a tragedy.
If he had called you could have told him about how sally said that she was tired of your whining during passing time between health and social studies. You could have told him how that bastard Mr. R called your parents because you didn't turn your paper in on time. I mean who cares about the holocaust...it happened like a hundred years ago, right?
But no, the bastard didn't call. So you thought to yourself...'I am going to dump that guy. That's right. We won't talk on the phone anymore, I won't invite him to the party at my house (which ends at 11:00pm). That'll show the insensitive hound. That's right, he can't use me like...like a...like a, Kid.
Sound familiar?
No, no it doesn't, wanna know why? Because you are no longer 14 years old.
Neither am I.
However, this sounds very familiar to me because I hear this story (with some minor variation, to pronoun, and occasionally verb) on a nearly daily basis.
This is what I do.
I sit, listen, say exactly the same things your teachers said to you ('do you think that is what he really meant?', 'no, you are definitely somebody who people want to hang out with', 'well, we all make mistakes' and (my personal favorite) 'well, he'll never forgive himself for that one (my comments too vary by pronoun and verb)) and I know they mean nothing.
But what do I do?
Do I do the thing that I want to do?
I don't think so. I really feel like: 'wow, your trivial problem will embarrass the hell out of you once you realize that the center of the universe is not yourself. Christ, I mean, If the world did revolve around you, as you must think it does, we would fly off our axis and spin into a world full of meaningless crap. I mean we would be a living, breathing reality T.V. show called 'Hey, hey...Look at me'.
Or do I do the thing that all teachers do?
'Oh, I know. Hey, we all make our own choices. No. No, who would that help? You don't mean that. No, I don't think you do. Well, we all make our own choices. No, I didn't think you meant it. No, its OK. So, don't worry about it right now. Yes, I understand. No, you can't get a pass. No, its still due on tuesday. What? No, I can't give you a pass. Is it important? Ok, just dial 9 first. No, you can't get a pass. Well, we all make our own choices. I am glad I could help. No, I can't give you a pass. OK, I'll see you tomorrow in class.'
I always choose the latter. Why? Because My Capacity of Self-Destruction allows for co-dependency no matter how trivial.
But, hey, at least I don't have to go back to middle school. Until 8:00 tomorrow morning.