an eternal question...

Is it better to have a big damn zit on your forehead OR a big damn bloody oozy crater where the giant eff you zit was?

Few have dared to wrestle with this question because the premise is just so difficult.
Do I want to look like a bit of a twit with bad skin care?
or
Do I want to look like some 16 year old acne fiddler who got overzealous and has created the grand canyon out of Mt. Everest.

Well...in inestimable role as Captain Self-Destruction (which would be my super hero alias except I have just given it away) I took dermatology in my own hands.

For those of you who know me...for the past 6 months or so I have had a horn. Right smack dab in the middle of my forehead I had what can only be called an appendage. It was huge. It was evident in profile. It was visible from space. There is you tube footage of astronauts pointing and saying "hey look, it's the great wall of china" and the first mate saying "nope that's my capacity's big eff you forehead zit" to which the first astronaut said "damn, why doesn't he just pop it"

So, after watching this you tube video I thought, "yes imaginary astronaut I will pop it."

Obviously it didn't take me 6 months to start messing with this thing. I did all of the squeezing and the poking that you would imagine. But it just didn't cut it. So I thought (like so many primates before me) "what I need is a simple tool...off to the medicine chest!"

Options available to me:
1. emery board
2. eyelash curler
3. eyebrow pencil
4. tweezers
5. finger nail clippers
6. blush brush
7. vase...

wait. Did I see finger nail clippers? Score. You know why? (if you answered that question with a yes...you too have a high capacity for self destruction) Because of the pokey outy little nail file thing.

So. If you want to maximize damage to your facial region in order to solve a problem with your facial region (something about smiting and noses and faces...the expression escapes me)you take the nail file pokey thing and jam it into the giant zit.

The results were dramatic.

I excised material about equal to the size and volume of a clove of garlic from my forehead. Victory is mine.

On the other hand, I jabbed metal into my face. So now I look like I have a slightly seeping bindi.

Man do I know how to bring the awesome sauce.

I wore a band aid on my forehead all day because I felt the question "what did you do to your forehead?" a lot easier to handle than "Holy crap. Oh God. What the...what did you do? Oh, Jesus...I...I just threw up a bit".